Avocados, metabolized compromises, people-pleasingARTTTTTT
There would be no more of you after death. And after all of humanity becomes a few particles of mist, by all accounts, events still will happen. Galaxies might collide, suns might turn into dwarfs, supernovas might happen. All the people you love, you hate, you envy for, the things you hate about avocado, inconveniences; they'd be gone too. All the useless bettering and mastering of skills and techniques will not matter at the slightest after you are gone and, after who you love is gone. There's no legacy to be had, no timelessness persona to achieve for and nothing is unfair about it, a something truly fatalistic about the world.
There's no "whom", as in, a physical being or, a collective of physical beings, or even mystical beings. It's true that, the world we live in is a world of impression and attention. Most people I know have a pre-conceived model of each person alive, it seems, where they're able to simplify a group of individuals' taste of music, art, food, sports and way of life. And being an artist in the modern age feels like mastering such models and developing the skill of perfect translation between social models and the creation. I've been through those places, admittedly not as hard as anyone else, and I describe it as a sad place to be. Think about the framework behind it: it's for the people and historically art has been regarded many times as a language, rather than a media or collection of mediums. No matter what we're trying to do, it inevitably will be filtered through somebody else and it's the unconscious job of the artisan to do for the external ego.
While I don't disagree with art being a language and the fact that it is filtered through people, I think this too much of a fatalistic and severely anxious thought. This framework is analogous to non-instinctual behavior, where we are in misunderstanding as to where goals and desires, events and perception happens upstream. A concept of who you are can be perceived and, subsequently, ideas that define your own silhouette. However, as long as you hold this tightly, you're incapable of becoming anybody but instead a shape-shifting set of ideations.
What about people-pleasers? They hold a shelf full of cues through weaponized compassion to other people and will use it tactically to harmonize the social environment and avoid suffering, holding them and the nearby hostage. Internally, they're likely to be more sensitive than the average person, which can make suffering a little bit too demanding to themselves. They're incapable of advocating for themselves and recognize negativity as much as the majority in social environments as the best of them will mediate conflict without advocating for their internal principles. It does appear to me that too many people is afraid of their own shadow and are constantly running away from it. The fact that there's no such place as "away" in the idea of "running away", for the same reason your shadow is always along with your body. You'd be running forever to find such a place.
These people are in the opposite side of creation, they only yield a single quality: harmonizing; making compromises; mediation. But there's no compromise to be made in art other than the compromise of yourself and your interactions with the world. Why would there be? Why, in making art for the sake of making art, there could be a situation where you need to mediate or harmonize for the people's just-as-flawed interests? A situation like this shouldn't happen naturally when a single brain isn't as complex as two brains, or thousands of parts of multiple brains, given that each one holds hundreds of thousands of different perspectives. Instead, I believe the ideation is a fluid and it adapts throughout lived experience in the form of values and principles. It is as if your conscious thoughts and, inevitably, values, could accept an information diet that can be changed, giving an opportunity for re-alignment, though it's very resource-intensive to change the existing, easier and automatic diet. The way towards letting go feels easy, and it probably is, but there's so much noise that makes us what we think we are in the way, that the fact that we are a thing that can be defined of by our own being, already misunderstands the point of being. And I say "letting go" like a once-do destination, and while I don't see as it, it may be comforting to know that is probably a coffin.
Once it becomes a way of being, you no longer hold control over things, and things greet back by just existing. Chaos becomes interesting. Art appears to become inevitable and a force of nature that just wants to happen, akin to water that just wants to flow everywhere. At the same time, deep inside it really feels like I'm making art for someone, but more so a religion-like figure that greets back, which talks to my obsession over what do my art makes me feel like. I see it as: how does my art feels towards me, or in other words, how this figure looks back at me when I'm experiencing my own art. It's different for each work and says a lot about me without me having to recall myself.
GOD DAMN CULTURE